In preparation for the coming visit of our Vice President, the staff of Chug Bleach have confirmed that the following offerings will appease the Vice President Cheney, and not cause the requisite birth of hideous demon children, sudden, inexplicable withering of crops, or turning of water to the most bitter acid.

In his press release regarding the visit, the Vice President's spokesman has asked us to remind you once again to avert your eyes at all times, lest you see into worlds no man dare return from with his soul or sanity still pure.

Three cattle, or failing the presence of live stock, a small, preferably virtuous and/or defenseless child. While the Vice President has no real interest in whether the child is yours or someone elses, he knows in the depths of his frozen and desolate heart whether your sacrifice is genuine, and will make every attempt to reap a terrible, some would even say unholy, vengeance on both the innocent and the guilty alike should the offer displease him.

Further inquires regarding ritualistic chants to the Vice President in a futile attempt to mimic the unknowable darkness of his language may be addressed to the Vice President's press office.